Learn To Make A Request That Gets You What You Want

One of the most challenging types of communication is making a request.

For all sorts of reasons, we tend to shy away from making requests of others.

And often when we do make requests, we do it ineffectively.

Here are some pointers to make it easier to do, and increase the likelihood of others agreeing to honor your request:

Making Requests That Get Results

– Recognize that your request is rooted in a need of yours. Getting clear on that need will help you formulate a clearer request.

– Your request is actually a plea for connection. To the extent that you can foster connection and better understanding, you will determine the likelihood of your request being fulfilled.

– Be willing to accept “no” as an answer. Otherwise your request is a demand. So before you even speak, consider whether “no” is acceptable to you, and prepare yourself for that possibility.

– If you receive a “no”, recognize that the other person is also having one of their needs met as well. See if you can use your empathy to understand their need as well.

– State your request as something you want, not what you don’t want.

Ask for something doable – some kind of specific conduct. In other words, a request like “treat me with respect” is not specific. Instead request something like, “Would you be willing to make sure I’m done talking before you start making your point?”

Making a request, not a demand, is a challenging skill to learn.

Making Requests

  • Understand Your Need
  • Recognize Your Request Is About Connecting
  • Be Willing To Accept “No”
  • Understand Their Need
  • Ask For What You Want
  • Ask For Something Doable

Incorporate these tips into your thinking as you formulate your requests and you will be more likely to have your requests honored while fostering deeper connections.